I need a good clean joke for an assignment?
July 28th, 2009 | by Anthony |niugirl1114 asked:
In my Stress Management class, we’re having a day on Humor Therapy, and we have to present a CLEAN, NON-RACIAL/DISCRIMINATING joke to the rest of the class…
Know any?
KRISTI
11 Responses to “I need a good clean joke for an assignment?”
By milkman2016 on Jul 30, 2009 | Reply
Ok so the math teacher was like ok stacy you as your dad for $15 and $7. How much money does he give you? Stacy goes zero dollars. The teacher is like you don’t know your math. Stacy “you don’t know my dad…”
By Sam T on Jul 31, 2009 | Reply
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
Just between you and me. Something smells.
By gassybug on Aug 4, 2009 | Reply
What did one banana say to othe banana?
Lets split.
By Amelia on Aug 5, 2009 | Reply
I just saw this one:
One evening, a wife drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple, how devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”
“I would love to,” replied the husband, “but I don’t know her that well.”
By Blue-♥-Berry on Aug 5, 2009 | Reply
A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
“Why are you eating grass?” he asked the man.
“I don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied.
“Oh, please come to my house!”
“But sir, I have a wife and four children…”
“Bring them along!” the rich man said.
They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in.”
The rich man replied, “No, you don’t understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!”
By ♥Awesome♥ on Aug 6, 2009 | Reply
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.”
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?”
The guy replies: “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
By nehow12 on Aug 9, 2009 | Reply
This snail wants to buy a red sports car with all of the amenities. He goes to a dealership that specialized in sports cars and selects one with everything he had ever wanted.
AS the salesman was finishin the special order form, the snail said, “There’s one more thing: I want a large ‘S’ on each side of my car.”
“We can do that with no problem. Would you mind telling me why?”
“Well,” said the snail,”when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say, ‘Look at that little ‘S’ car go!!!!!’ [say it out loud.... it should sound like "escargo"]
There once were identical twins- born in greece and separated at birth- put up for adoption. One was sent off to Saudi Arabia and name Amal. The other was sent off to Spain and named Juan. Many years later, their relatives arranged for a reunion. It was a big event, and everyone showed up at the airport to greet them. The plane from spain landed, and off came Juan, to the delight of the crowd. then They waited for the plane from Saudi Arabia to arrive. Soon it arrived, but Amal wasn’t on it -he’d missed the plane. One relative said to the other, “Well, they are identical twins…and once you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.” [one...them all. hopefully you got that one.]
okay…I saved the best for last…
An eighty-year-old couple is having problems remembering things, so they go to the doctor to get checked out. They describe to him that they are both having memory issues. After checking the couple out, the doctor suggests that even though they are physically okay, they might want to start writing things down to help remember. The couple thanks the doctor and leaves. Later that night while watching tv, the old man gets up from his chair.
His wife asks” where are you going?”
He replies,” To the kitchen.” she asks him for a bowl of ice cream and replies, “Sure.”
She then asks him, ” Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?”
He says,” No, i can remember that.”
“Well, I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down, because I know you’ll forget.”
“i can remember that: you want a boel of ice cream with strawberries on top.”
“Well, I would also like some whipped cream on top. i know you’ll forget that, so you better write it down.”
With irritation in his voice, he says,” I don’t need to write that down, I can remember that.”
He fumes off into the kitchen. When he returns twenty minutes later, he hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, “You forgot my toast.”
….well I hope you like those jokes…..
By Kurt R on Aug 11, 2009 | Reply
one woman says “I had a watch stolen from under my nose last night. the other woman says “Thats a funny place to wear it.
By Envy on Aug 12, 2009 | Reply
ok so a guy works for a zoo delivery factory one day the boss tells him to deliver these penguins so he did 5 hours later he saw the man walking with the penguins and said i thought i told you to take them to the zoo he said i did we had a good time now were going to the movies
By Danny on Aug 13, 2009 | Reply
A duck walks into a drugstore to buy some Chapstick. The man behind the counter says,”That will be $1.55.” the duck says,”Put it on my bill.”
By Syman H on Aug 14, 2009 | Reply
This one comes to mind:
Do you know how to catch an elephant?
First you have to dig a big hole in the ground. Line the base of hole you dug with wood ashes or coal ashes to cushion the fall of the falling elephant. Then you take fresh garden peas which come in a pod, being careful to remove the fresh peas and place them around the entire circumference of the top of the hole you’ve dug in the ground.
Then you hide behind the closest bus until the elephant comes to take a pea, and then you push him in the ashhole!
That’s how you catch an elephant. If you misquote me that will be your falt!
Syman
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